With all the big names in this movie you would have thought it would beworthwhile, I couldn't even finish the whole thing. It has some of theworst acting and/or story. The plot kinda falls apart and goes inseveral directions. There's the revenge for the killing of the family.There's the corrupt politician who's being double crossed by hisadviser who is being double crossed by somebody else. The vigilanteshave an on going war with the underground network of illegals crossingthe border, with both sides planning armed to the teeth. I know it'sonly a movie, but when a priest is killed in a church in real life it'sgonna get more then a casual mention on the local news, not in thismovie.

The worst of all though is the political message about immigration! Itseems the movie is trying to make me feel bad about being white! It'strying to show how unfair we, as Americans, are to the Mexicanimmigrants who only want to come to America to work.

I really think this movie was made by and for bleeding heart liberals.

Machete

Immigrants are employed in low-paying jobs because the enactment ofchild labour laws made it illegal for babies to drive you to theairport.

And while a child could fertilize your lawn, why not do as this satiresuggests and get a Mexican to do it.

Left for dead by a drug czar (Steven Seagal), a betrayed Federale(Danny Trejo) is reborn as a Mexican folk hero.

Hell-bent on revenge, he partners with an ICE agent (Jessica Alba) anda radical (Michelle Rodriguez).

Together, they uncover a Mexican extradition scheme backed by atreacherous businessman (Jeff Fahey) and a xenophobic Senator (RobertDe Niro).

The full-length feature of Robert Rodriguez' movie trailer for GrindHouse, Machete exceeds expectations: the violence is visceral, the goreis grandiose and the message of dissent is delivered.

Ironically, by starring in a major motion picture, the Mexican lead hasnow become a myth himself. (Green Light)

I'd been waiting to see Machete after I saw the fake trailer of it inRobert Rodriguez and Quentin Tarantino's Grindhouse. I enjoyed bothparts of Grindhouse, Planet Terror and Death Proof. While I liked DeathProof more, I felt Planet Terror deserved more appreciation.

But Machete? I can't find one reason to recommend this film to anotherperson. It's not so much of a misfire or a disappointment. It's toodull to be given even that much of importance. A movie like this isn'tone I expect to satisfy my intellectual appetite, so I don't pay muchattention. Its entertainment value is supposed to grab my attention.Does it do so? Not one bit. I won't tell you what it's about, there'snothing special about it. There's gore, in amounts that neitherentertains nor provokes you. The film's a snooze.

In trying to recall the film, I remember it ends with nuns, priests,rock n roll stars(who have picked up a trait or two from 50 cent) andMexican parasites in blood lust mode, all of them spraying away bulletshoping to reach orgasm. It's a blood bath, sadly, not of the holyChrist. The screenplay is laughable with dialogs that are caricaturesof already existing catch-phrases. "You Just F*ck-ed With The WrongMexican." Woah! That did send a shiver down my spine. Jessica Alba getson top of a car and screams " We didn't cross the border, the bordercrossed us." A crucified priest decides to say "God has mercy, I don't.You go to hell." Cool? Smart? Maybe, if you have just reachedadolescence.

Danny Trejo is lethally magnetic but nothing that Machete does is evenclose. Machete's a guy with enough scars to prevent his dead body frombeing recognized, constipated expressions that'll make you restrainyour laughter(Out of, not fear, but pity), a cartoon like raucous voiceand a weapon belt with a lot of knives that look like they were stolenfrom some old lady's kitchen at midnight.

If anything, I'm glad I watched this cheap gimmick because it's been onmy hard disk long enough, now I can free 1.22 GB. But you don't have tosit through 100 minutes watching it, just to free your hard disk, youcould take my word and delete it right away. I know, there's a lotabout the film I haven't talked about. Those aspects just exist, theyare not worthy of criticism.

Before the credit rolls, we're asked to look forward to sequels.Machete Kills. Machete Kills again. The missing object in the sentenceis Robert Rodriguez' reputation.

Rating - 4/10