At first I was skeptical because of the genre and Angelina Jolie (yeah,I don't like her). Then I was willing to like it because of JohnnyDepp. Then I started watching and hated it because of Jolie being sougly and Johnny being so fatty and ordinary. And at last I kind ofliked it because of the ending.

So, finally, I'm not sure whether I like it or not... and I'm alsofrustrated by my not being able to decide.

I find it a regularly lame movie - no interesting characters, noscientific fantasy, nothing special; just, as many say, Jolie's ass andlips and Depp's beard (not to mention he's so plump here that he's losthis hotness, I yet suppose that he's meant to look that way so as toresemble a math teacher). It's a peculiar fact that at the end when heopened the safe I thought that he's calculated the code somehow(knowing her + cryptography maybe). This was probably caused by thehuge amount of Numb3rs episodes I've seen. Anyway...

This ending was so unexpected that I ended up watching the credits withmy mouth opened. Considering the fact that this is a remake of someFrench movie (which I haven't seen), the idea (which is the main"weapon" of this film) obviously isn't the movie-makers' credit.

As I'm not a fan of this genre, it was an unusual movie for me towatch. Still, it's a great deal far from a masterpiece or something -I'm definitely not willing to watch it more than once.

Let me begin this review on a good note, I don't like Angelina Jolie.She is pretty and talented I must say, but she doesn't quite reach thestandard that the media shoves down all of our throats and certainlynot her own. She has way too many cameras forcefully and yes willinglyshoved up her skinny backside to be considered a true humanitarian inthis world. I don't care how many children from third world countriesshe adopts or if she's married to Brad Pitt. I am not her biggest fan.So it almost goes without saying that I really wasn't that interestedin viewing The Tourist. If I wasn't such a Johnny Depp fan I wouldn'thave taken my wife to see it.

So let me attempt to put my biases aside for a moment to give asynopsis of the film..

The Tourist is somewhat of a caper movie. Jolie plays Elise, an elegantand mysterious character that is being watched by internationalauthorities while they seek to apprehend her former lover and thiefextraordinaire, Alexander Peirce. From the beginning of the film,Peirce via mail carrier sends Elise notes advising her on what stepsshe can take for them to be reunited. The first step requires her tofind a tourist who can serve as a reliable dupe for Pierce as theinvestigators don't know what he looks like. The dupe will either bearrested on suspicion of being Peirce. Oh by the way, the internationalpolice aren't the only ones looking for him. The thug nasty mobsters hestole from want their money and his head. Shenanigans deluxe ensue!

Strengths: Johnny Depp of course! His character is charming, funny, andunsuspecting. The perfect dupe. The movie has some good action scenesand is entertaining most of the time. It also has a surprise endingthat really saves the movie from being a "dud" overall. It would alsomake a great date movie.

Weaknesses: Now it is time to bring my biases back. Angelina Jolie isthe biggest problem in this movie. She is stiff and smug the entirefilm. She spends most of the movie swaying her hips with every step,showing viewers how much she likes herself. She probably should haveconcentrated on acting the way she is capable of. Her character isunlikable and she has no chemistry with Depp on screen. Another problemwith the film, as alluded to above, is the pacing. It is really slow toget the ball rolling. The trailers for the movie would have you believethat there is non-stop action. In reality, the plot develops veryslowly and half the film is over before you see much action. The policeare incredibly stupid too. They spend the entire time running incircles while the criminals they are chasing make them look likeidiots.

Recommendation: This film is hardly a must-see. If you are a big JohnnyDepp it is. If you are a big fan of Angelina Jolie you probably don'tcare that she sucks big time in this movie. The language isn't bad byHollywood standards. There is no nudity. The action is of the non-bloody variety. It is pretty safe for most viewers with the exceptionof small children and they would probably be more interested inwatching something more fun like Despicable Me (currently available torent) or Megamind (soon to be available to rent). And as mentionedabove guys, a good opportunity to take the wife or girlfriend to.

In an era of 'intelligent' thrillers like the Jason Bourne films orSalt, one all too often forgets that the primary purpose behind amovie's existence is one thing and one thing only: Entertainment. And'The Tourist' most definitely entertains.

The plot is simple enough, yet its elegant treatment doesn't fail tointrigue the viewer. Elise Ward (Angelina Jolie) travels to Venice torendezvous with her lover, Alexander Pearce, a banker who embezzledbillions of dollars from his crimelord employer, and is now a fugitivenot only from Scotland Yard's Financial Crimes Division, but also fromReginald Shaw (Steven Berkoff), the afforementioned crimelord. In orderto misdirect Alexander's pursuers, Elise befriends Frank Tempello(Johnny Depp), an American tourist and her co-passenger the train toVenice, with the hope of convincing both authorities and gangstersalike that Tempello is Alexander and thus to throw them off the trail.Frank, the hapless schoolteacher from Wisconin, soon finds himself thetarget of numerous assassins, with his only ally the woman who got himinto this mess in the first place. Elise, for her part, is torn betweenher loyalty to Alexander and her growing feelings for Frank. The twomajor plot twists are not entirely unpredictable, though one of themmight be considered somewhat far-fetched, albeit laden with irony inretrospect.

Where the film really stands out is atmosphere. The scenic beauty ofVenice, its buildings, waterways and ballrooms is complemented by ascore which, while over the top in some respects, is pleasing to theear and does evoke the sense of exaggerated intrigue about this film.The main actors don't do too badly as well. Jolie's portrayal of Eliseas a sophisticated, seductive and mysterious English woman is certainlyone of the high points of the movie. Paul Bettany plays thehard-as-nails obsessively deranged Scotland Yard Inspector Achersonpretty well, and Steven Berkoff does stand out in his hilariously overthe top portrayal of Reginald Shaw, and is somewhat reminiscent ofJames Bond villains from the 60's and 70's. Less impressive however isJohnny Depp, who is clearly better off sticking to comedic maniacs likeJack Sparrow and the Mad Hatter than he is with relatively seriousparts like Frank Tempello. As he bumbles through most of the film,Depp's character ends up becoming no more than comedic relief, and nota very effective one at that. Indeed, Depp's inadequacies in this movieis one of the major setbacks 'The Tourist' faces.

Still, this is definitely a movie worth watching if one has a quitefree afternoon and wants to enjoy a thriller without the complicationsof having to figure out an intensely 'cerebral' plot.

This movie is a complete waste of time. The acting is disastrous, thescript is nothing new, no surprises, no fun, nothing. Johnny Depp isespecially disappointing, Jolie not so much, but a mediocre performancefrom both. Directing is just awful, but that is to be expected from anewcomer, that maybe should stick to his European low budget movies. Ipredict a downward spiral for both Jolie and Depp if they continuemaking boring movies that no one wants to see. Maybe action moviesreally have nothing new to offer us? The same old same old every singletime? The Oscars will show where American Film Industry is heading to,i think there is need for a change. No, not the 3D stuff nobody caresabout, we are expecting real filmmaking gentlemen!

I absolutely hate it when movies get bad marketing. "The American" lastyear is a perfect example of horrible marketing to a fantastic movie,leading to wrong audience expectations and thus a poor public reception(to their credit the film did open at no. 1 that weekend, unfortunatelyproving that such a deceitful gimmick works).

"The Tourist" from that same year suffers from the same marketingproblem. Meaning, it is a comedy/thriller caper which was marketed asan espionage action flick judging from the trailers alone. Yeesh, whenwill proper marketing come? So it's little wonder why critics bashedthis film a lot seeing that it's actually a light, breezy comicthriller with two Hollywood megastars phoning in their roles amidstsome beautiful scenery, lavish production design and a nice variety ofEuropean supporting actors to boot.

The film, a remake of Jerome Salle's French thriller "Anthony Zimmer"with added comic zest, is a fun way to waste an hour and a half,presumably with a date. For those expecting a thrilling actionadventure, look somewhere else. The film moves along at a fine breezypace, the Venitian scenery looking gorgeous as ever as per Angelinashowing of her beautiful looks, Johnny Depp being his Jack Sparrowcharacter again albeit grounded in reality and less talkative and morecareful, and the music by James Newton Howard all segues in quitenicely.

However, the screenplay is quite uneven. At times sharp and at othersclichéd, the script sometimes forgets whether it is more of a comedythan a thriller and vice versa - and there are some confusing momentstoo. Another complaint is that Angelina and Johnny Depp look likethey're just acting instead of being the characters - at times it seemslike they have no interest in the roles, and their chemistry is quiteoff. However, I did like the very interesting choice of supportingactors - and we got a very talented bunch here - Paul Bettany as theincompetent and vain Interpol agent with James Bond 007 himself TimothyDalton as his boss. Bond villain Steven Berkoff plays a sly villainwell (with Indiana Jones henchman Igor Jijikine among his Russiangoons) and there's Rufus Sewell as a mysterious ghost-like person aswell. Among all of the actors, it is Dalton who steals the scene here,despite his very brief screen time in the film.

Director Florian Henckel von Donnersmarck, who helmed the superb Germanfilm "The Lives of Others", takes a step backward with this film, butmanages to give a very classy and elegant European feel to the film. Healso shoots the humorous moments in a very subtle way as opposed to thecrude slapstick or dark humor preferred by many movie audiences today,making it easy on the brain, eyes and ears to boot. His direction givesthe film an old-school European feel. If only von Donnersmarck can givethe same focus on the main actors as well.

So overall it's a nice time waster with some off moments, butdefinitely not the disaster critics are making it out to be. See it,laugh, forget about it afterwords. Keep in mind that this is a COMEDYand NOT an ACTION film.

Overall rating: 55/100